♡ de Voyage ♡

•°*。゚゚ Thought of de Day ゚゚。*°•

Everything will be okay in de end...
If it's not okay, then it is not yet de end! =)

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Hello, 2012!

Dear readers and followers of my blog,

I am so sorry for abandoning this place for like, months? It was really a hectic period previous semester which left not much time for me to update you all. The simpler updates (by photos) can be found on FB, but I think I kinda became less active there as well. Oops.

Anyway, let me try to do a brief update here. (Bear in mind, everytime I said 'summary' in my blog, it turned out a long long post, again).
So yea, where to start? =P

My first semester of final year, which had ended in December, was a tough one for me. IO, a subject that has been known as a subject of luck, was as challenging as what I had heard.
Random assignment of group members wasn't a new concept in class, but the great deal of work and cooperation needed did shock me even at the proposal stage. Upon the first glance of the groups list, I gonna admit I was down. I only knew 3 people in a group of 14, and some with not so good 'reputation' in groupwork as warned by my friends.
Yet I was a little bit delighted when I knew more than half of the group were final semester students, which I assumed they will be more knowledgeable, experienced, and helpful.
Well, things did not seem to go the way I thought, a lot unexpected, good and bad. Spent a great deal of concentration, times and effort on this 300 pages project, and the marks are still acceptable.
Being friends with a lot of the members was one of the big gain I shall say. No doubt, this huge project makes me learned a lot, like really, a lot.
Thank you, Talenation! =)

The 2 elective subjects I picked for the semester were good learning experiences, yet not easy to score. I love contemporary issues in psychology, apparently my friends all love it as well. Although we felt, and still feel dumb and unknowledgable in class always when Dr. Anasu told us about the world, the history, the things that we weren't aware deep inside us; I personally enjoyed it. I learned, at least.
The assignments marks for all the subjects were posted up these few days, and I was and am still not happy of it. Poor marks.
I think I took Year 3 subjects too lightly, or I diverted too much onto IO.
I stop at Year 2 standard, isn't it? Yes, I do.

Thesis oh thesis, you should have been the focus this holiday, but why you let other things override you so easily? Trips, outings, drama, and the more-than-enough sleep.
See now only few days left and new semester starts, and I should have your details, at least basic details, ready for my supervisor. You make me nervous and stressful in subtle ways that I know the symptoms are all because of you, thesis.
Work well with me, come, we will do a good job!

Alright, enough for studies, let's talk about some non-studies stuffs.
Worked for DH for a month, but left because it is just too far from my place. The pay couldn't cover the transport fees although the work is what I enjoy, with kids.
Joined annual ball committee this year, but I know I didn't contribute much. Sorry for the low commitment. The ball was the first ever ball night I had been to. It was a great experience, with the heavy make-up and hairdo, and photos with poses.
Frankly, the expenses for the ball were freaky, and yea, wouldn't go for this year's. I shall save for trip!
Anyway, mommy is the one who is paying for everything for me, so I should thank her for a pretty night, and start saving money for her. =)

Celebrated Christmas in Singapore. Thank you Mei's aunt and family for being such a friendly and helpful host. We each had a bed, a pillow and a blanket! That was even better than hotel like seriously.
Failed to visit zoo due to the rains, but went to museum unplanned. Christmas at Orchard was crazy and crowded, but the lights are beautiful! Went for drink at Clarke Quay but I don't find it fun to club. Not worth the time and MONEY. Damn expensive. Well, take an experience.
Visited Sentosa and its casino! Wheeee, finally we are 21 and eligible to walk into the casino. Another disappointment because the casino wasn't some fun or exciting place. It was pretty quiet, and I felt the stress without reasons. Stopped by each type of games but I only managed to understand 2 types! So we left after looking around.
Supper every night in Singapore, slept after 2am every night. Gosh, my routines were so messed up but for trip, never mind.
For the first time I felt so reluctant to go home after trip! I know the reason, just because of thesis. The days after the trip were so unproductive and direction-less. No motivation no mood no energy for thesis. Till now.

Oh ya, stayed overnight at Bei's house with Ai! That was like our annual activity. Haha. Everyone spilled their stories and gave comments and advices to each other. And squeezed in a bed in Bei's like-always-at-night room. No sunlight can crawl in, no rain and car sound can be heard, and the aircond makes it so nice to sleep. No zeitgeber. So we slept till noon and went for lunch with Kelly at 2pm. I think Bei's room will be a great getaway choice if I am stressed next time. Haha.

I chose not to end my 2011 counting down with the mass crowd and foam and sprays. After the steamboat dinner with friends, me and Kelly went for a yumcha session near my house. Literally our last night of 2011 ended with, talking. Haha. Not bad not bad, I prefer this serenity. Well, that shop provided us each a mini party popper for countdown. Simple stuffs can be good too. =)

2012 is here, before I'm ready to do a reflection for 2011, to clean and clear my stuffs, to welcome a new year with joy and love. Seriously until today, I do not think I am well prepared to face the challenges for 2012.
Aha, you may ask, why only challenges? True, 2012 can be another fun and memorable year, but my mind is still conveying this message to me:
2012 will be a tough year, you have to be ready to hit down by anyone anytime anywhere. Beware.
I know where it comes from, again is mainly because of the thesis, in addition with the disappointing assignments marks.
What else made me so afraid of 2012? A lot. But in short, I am afraid of changes. There will be changes in 2012, I am sure.

During the girls' night at Bei's house, I sighed and told them I am not as happy and as wonderful living with great friends and family, as they saw through FB. I have great friends and family, no doubt. But I never feel I had enough.
I want better, but what did I work to gain? I know I need to adjust my mindset. I know I need to adjust my life back on track.
I miss the times I am happy even for a simple thing, like a short meet up with old friend. I miss the times I am happy for doing things for others, but not merely focus on myself. I miss the times I thought I had it - the balance, thing that I always wanted to achieve.

Sorry friends who were checking out my blog and asking me to update it soon. Here comes my update, and it sounds like a depressed one. Don't worry about me, I will be tough. Things aren't too bad, is my mind gets blue lately. I will repaint it to bright red, for the passion to move on, and for CNY! Muahaha! Gong Hei Fatt Choi!

Will like to end this post by saying thank you to my different cliques of friends, who have been supporting me from all dimensions and make me complete.
The one I would like to thank the most in 2011 would be you, my dearest mommy. You are my everything.
I love you and happy belated birthday! <3

Yours truly,

No comments: